


Wishes

by handlewithkara



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Guilt, Hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22868557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handlewithkara/pseuds/handlewithkara
Summary: After apprehending Mister Mxyzptlk Mon-El comes back to talk to Kara.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Mon-El
Comments: 12
Kudos: 52





	Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language and I don't have a beta reader :(

“I never understood what you saw in him,” Myxy scoffs as he struggles against the cuffs that keep him from shifting dimensions.

“Nobody asked for your opinion.” Kara glares at him.

“Oh come on!” Myxy throws his cuffed hands up in frustration. “Don’t tell me you’d wish for a chance to make things better with _him_.”

“What?” Kara stutters. “I’d never.” She exchanges a quick glance with Mon-El and breathes a sigh of relief. Her voice grows strong in power. “You undo all the chaos you caused, right now, Myxy!”

The imp rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t work that way.”

Her eyes glare up. “Then make it so.”

Their communicators jump to life, informing them that Myxy’s magic has produced a giant sea monster rising in the harbor. Winn and Mon-El see her eye and then with a quick nod they are off.

She grabs Myxy’s arm and walks him towards the cells, a worried Alex right behind her. Kara can feel her worried eyes digging into her back.

“You okay?” her sister asks once the force field goes up, keeping the rambling imp in place.

“Yeah,” Kara murmurs absentmindedly. The imp’s magic is giving her a splitting headache. “I better get out there to the harbor and help Winn and Mon-El.”

Alex doesn’t like it, Kara can already tell. “I’ll stay here and see if I can talk him down.”

“Yes, that’s probably the best way. I don’t think he meant any harm, he just isn’t fully in control of the side effects of his time travel”. Immeasurable power, even more extreme than her own. The power to create anything from nothing, to turn back time, to change any destiny and with so little self-control. The thought alone makes the hairs on the back of Kara’s neck stand on edge.

Inside the cell, Myxy has started talking to himself.

Alex tilts her head and squints. “Have you ever wondered…?”

Kara shakes her head firmly. “No. I can’t. I can wish for Lena to be better, to no longer be in pain, but I can’t wish for myself.”

*

“How are you?” Mon-El gently asks afterwards. There are shadows underneath her eyes.

“Fine, I guess,” she murmurs. “It happened.” She rolls her shoulders and reaches back to rub the back of her neck. “That’s what I did.” There’s an undertone of panic in her voice like she is surprised. Kara sighs. “I did what I did. I should pay for it. I don’t want to take the easy way out.” She looks tired, oh so tired. “That wouldn’t be right.” She lets her eyes fall shut, but the gauntness of her expression doesn’t go away.

“I understand,” he says. And he does. He understands why she feels that way. It even aligns with his own experiences. Whether it’s his darkest instincts as a Daxamite that tell him that imps are not to be trusted, or his time as a Legionnaire teaching him that shortcuts never pay off in the end. Still, looking at her, he wishes that that wasn’t the case, that the world was just a little bit less harsh. If anybody deserves a break from the universe it’s the amazing, heroic, exhausted woman in front of him.

Kara’s eyes are sad and uncharacteristically dull, as she stares off into the distance at nothing in particular. “We'll get through this.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. “Lena will come around.”

“Just… take care of yourself, will you?”

Once more, that haunted look sends chill down his spine.

“Yeah, sure,” she murmurs.

*

“You got old,” Myxy scoffs.

“So did you.”

“Well, that happens when you get locked up in an intertimespace juvenile detention center for 25.000 years.”

“Stop whining, imp.” Mon-El tugs his captive’s dimeritium cuffs tighter. He doesn’t pay too much careful attention when pushing the imp towards the portal.

“Hah, there it is,” Myxy gloats. “You always were a thug. You didn’t change at all.“

“Shut up, Myxy,” Winn interjects.

The imp turns around. “You know, I really wanted to do something nice for her, this time. I didn’t know she was gonna be like this.” _Broken._ “I’m starting to think I dodged a bullet.” The imp's eyes narrow. “Did you do this to her, Daxamite?”

Mon-El grits his teeth. “Stop talking about her. You have no right.”

*

He breathes a sigh of relief when Myxy is stored away safely. He isn’t sure what the Legion will decide to do with him. Rokk probably has some interesting suggestions for community service. Mon-El has tried to be better about his prejudice, but imps still make his skin crawl.

Still, handing Myxy over hasn’t really given him the closure he was looking for and he finds himself taking to the sky, up to the tower. There he mills about till familiar footsteps signal that he has been found.

“You’re thinking about going back, aren’t you?” Winn steps up to him, to stand at his side. Is there any use to denying it?

“I am,” he admits. “Fuck.” Mon-El runs his palm over his face. “I’m a real jackass,” he murmurs.

“No,” Winn says quietly. “You’re just in love.”

*

_You’re just in love._

Somehow those words don’t really make him feel better as he stands outside her door. _In love._ He misses that short sliver of his life where for a moment he really did believe that that mattered, that that was all you needed and everything would be alright.

The door swings open and there she stands in front of him.

“You came back,” she says, sounding more tired than he expected.

“I did.”

Kara crosses her arms over her chest. “Everything alright with Myxy?”

“Safe and sound.”

She frowns. “Anything else you need?”

It would be so easy to lie to her, to lie to himself, to make up an excuse for why he is here. Legion business.

“I wanted to see you. Talk to you.” It’s just so much harder to stand here and admit that he is here for himself.

Kara backs away slowly, back into the darkness of her apartment. “Come on in,” she says. He follows her.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

“I wanted to see how you are doing. I know we haven’t really been talking lately, but, but I still want to be there for you.”

“I’m fine.”

He bites his lip. “Maybe you are, but I’m not.” Her eyes widen in surprise.

“Please,” he sinks down in front of her and reaches for her hand. He means it as a sign of deference, not romance, to be here like with her. It feels so familiar, so right to be here, on his knees in front of her, looking up at the person who changed his life. He has no idea where he is going with this or what he truly expects. Whatever she decides, Mon-El knows that he’ll live with it.

Even if the truth is bitter, it’s something that he needs to hear.

“Maybe I need this,” he admits. “I need this closure.”

“We shouldn’t be together,” she says, almost a bit too quickly.

He looks up at her. Her hands feel so small, so soft within his. “That’s okay. Just…” his voice trails off. “I need, I need you to say that it’s because you don’t want me.” He finds her gaze, locks eyes with her. “Not because you think you don’t deserve it.”

“What?” She shirks back, tearing her hands aways as if she’d been burnt. Hides them behind her back as if conceal the blisters.

All he wishes for is that he could reach inside the heart of this amazing, heroic being, This woman with the weight of countless worlds, countless universes on her shoulder and take away all the pain.

“Please,” he whispers, “let me touch you.”

Her eyes are wide and pained. She shakes her head, almost imperceptibly and his hands stop, hovering just over her face. His arms hurt with his inability to touch her.

“You, you look like you are freezing.”

Tears spring up in her eyes. Kara balls her fists. Her lips are oh so pale. “I’m fine,” she whispers and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that once again she is shaking her head without meaning to as she insists that she’s okay.

He lets his hands fall away from her. He, he can’t help her if she doesn’t want him. It’s not his place anymore.

“Safe Journey,” he whispers and turns to leave, ready to leave her behind.

“I’m not fine.”

Mon-El stops dead in his tracks.

Her face looks pale in the moon’s soft light. She’s biting her lips so hard it looks painful. “I want to be. But I’m not.”

He is over there in a blink and throws his arms around her. It feels like it’s been an eternity. She beats her fists against his chest only to squeeze him so tight he thinks his bones will break.

 _I’m here,_ he thinks, _I’m here._ And holds her. Just holds her.

Maybe he has no right to her, but if it was up to him, he’d never let her go again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before seeing episode 100, just my take on how Kara would or should deal with the concept of being granted a do-over. 
> 
> The Karamel happening at the end just sort of slipped in ^__^


End file.
